Dandelion
by Amarylle
Summary: Draco Malfoy finds his fiancée, Astoria Greengrass cheating on him with Colin Creevey, and lands himself in a pub, drinking Firewhiskey. Hermione Granger has a lot of frustration to drown in alcohol, and their paths cross, and lively banter ensues. Where will this lead them? DM/HG.
1. Firewhiskey

**Disclaimer:** The wonderful world of Harry Potter and the canon characters belong to J.K Rowling and I am only borrowing them to write for my and other people's enjoyment, without any intention of profiting from it. I thank this creative lady for blessing us with such a rich ground to build up our creativity on!

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Draco Malfoy was glaring at the bottom of his Firewhiskey, inwardly cursing the day he decided to seduce Astoria Greengrass. It was such a mistake, an idiotic idea, and a _Malfoy_ was a lot of things, but a nitwit was definitely not one of them.

He scowled and picked up the tall glass, swirling the amber liquid around slightly, and took another sip of the strong drink. The slow burn at the back of his throat was a welcome sensation to the blond. He gulped down the rest of the whiskey quickly, and motioned for the barkeep to pour him another.

Life was different, since the end of the Second Wizarding War. He had paid the price for his foolish decision to join the ranks of the Death Eaters, and gotten off somewhat lightly. The Wizengamot sentenced him to two years of house arrest, a few thousand galleons fine, and a limited use of magic, since Potter and Granger had both testified on his behalf.

The pureblood wizard was not expecting anyone to stand up for him, _especially_ not those two. Their action spurred a fountain of contradicting emotions inside him. Apart from obvious shock, he was grateful for their involvement, since he really did not have any desire to get familiar with the inner workings of Azkaban. On the other hand, he felt queasy at the thought of the _Golden Boy_ , and the _Gryffindor Princess_ coming to his aid.

He spent the past five years reinventing his public image, and struggling with changing his views on blood purity. It was not easy to turn seventeen years of pureblood conditioning around, but he managed. Nowadays he could have a whole conversation with a muggleborn, without the urge of calling them a mudblood. That was more than some other bigoted purebloods could say, so he was satisfied with his efforts.

Although at the moment, he would not have minded calling a particular muggleborn wizard a mudblood, and punching him in the face _again_. He could not believe his eyes when he saw _Colin sodding Creevey_ passionately kissing his fiancée, as he pushed her up against a pear tree.

He closed his eyes, and his jaw tightened as he recalled what happened.

 _It was a sunny day in London, and a very slow day at the office, so Draco decided to clock out early, and take a walk down on Wisteria Lane, which was a small magical park located just outside the city proper._

 _He haphazardly hung his work robes on his arm and turned around his heel, apparating to the outskirts of London. He walked down a narrow path, which was dotted with tall grass, and a few patches of dandelion._

 _Draco leaned down and plucked a flower, softly blowing at the seed head, watching as the wind carried some of the feathery bits far away._

 _His mother, Narcissa, once told him that one could determine whether or not one was loved, by blowing the seeds off a dandelion globe. It was said that if one could blow all the seeds off with one blow, they were passionately loved, however if some of the seeds remained, then one's partner_ _had reservations about the relationship. Folklore also said that blowing the seeds off a dandelion is said to carry thoughts and dreams to one's beloved._

 _Draco had to admit that he was worried for a moment when he saw some of the seeds remain. Luckily for him, he did not believe in such flowery superstition. He let the stem fall from his hold, and he shook his troublesome thoughts away. Such nonsense was not befitting a Malfoy after all._

 _He paused in front of a worn down arbor, and waved his wand subtly from behind his hanging robes, and when the portal shimmered brightly, Draco slipped through. The sight that greeted him had almost made him smile, until his eyes trailed over the nearby pear tree, and his blood had frozen in his veins._

 _Astoria was flush against the tree trunk, as Colin freaking Creevey was kissing her feverishly. Her delicate fingertips were dipped in his blond hair, and one of her legs was wantonly wrapped around his hips._

 _Draco's heart hardened, as he witnessed the passionate lip-lock, and his jaw tightened. He suddenly felt extremely angry. He marched up to the pair of them, pulled Creevey away from Astoria, and punched him in the face, knocking him backwards._

" _What the fuck are you doing with my fiancée?" He snarled, his well-groomed hair flying around his face, and crackling with wild magic._

" _Oh my god, Colin!" Astoria gasped, and her hands flew to her mouth in shock. She immediately stepped forward and touched his burst cheek tenderly. "You are bleeding." She said in a strained voice._

 _Colin grimaced at the impact of the older wizard's knuckles, because it hurt. His gaze softened as the brunette witch lovingly caressed his injured cheek. "I am fine, love." He whispered, and turned to Malfoy with a cold stare. "I was in the middle of a display of my affections with your fiancée. Don't you know it is rude to interrupt?"_

 _Draco's eyebrows disappeared into his hairline, as he seethed in anger. "So you are well aware that she is mine, are you? How does it feel to be a cheating bastard?" He sneered, discreetly grabbing his wand._

 _Creevey curled his lips into a smirk. "It feels freeing to be the person that Astoria runs to when you mess up. It feels amazing to feel her skin against mine, to feel her warmth, to show her that a man can be kind and compassionate, and a gentle lover, compared to a cold, chauvinistic bastard, who only thinks about himself."_

 _He could not believe that the hyperactive, timid little boy with the photography obsession turned into someone with confidence, and that Tory was eating it up with adoring eyes, even now when he clearly caught them in the act._

 _He whirled around to face the woman. "Do you have anything to say for yourself?"_

 _Astoria glanced at her fiancé, and her eyes turned distant. "Not really. It is as Colin said. I am tired of your games. I am tired of being over-looked. I don't have any desire to be a trophy on your arm, that you can parade around in those stuffy Ministry-, and Charity balls. I am tired of listening to your constant whining. I am tired of you never putting me first-" She paused for a moment. "Actually, I am just plain tired of you."_

 _It was like she stabbed his heart with a knife, and twisted it around with every word she uttered. He felt an ice-cold numbness engulf him, as he stared at the woman he loved. He knew he was not perfect, even if he liked to boast he was, but he had genuine feelings for her, and she did not care. She cheated on him with a bloody Gryffindor._

 _Life was simply a cruel joke, wasn't it._

" _I may not be who, or what you need, but at least I am honest." He drawled. "If you were so disinterested and fed up with our relationship, you should have said so. As far as I am concerned you have no class."_

 _Astoria balked at his words, her expression sour. "Draco-" She whispered, stepping forward._

" _Do whatever you want with the ring, I certainly do not want, or need it. You tainted it with your dishonest acts of infidelity and lies. I am glad you refused the Malfoy family heirloom, as you are not deserving of it after all. I will have an elf drop off your belongings. You are not welcome in my home anymore." He said with an air of finality about his words._

 _The pureblood witch was ready to cry as she felt her safety net fall apart. "Draco-, we can still get married." She promised. "It would just be an old-fashioned marriage of convenience. I can be with Colin, and you can be with whomever else you want, it will be perfect, you see. A win-win situation for everyone." She pleaded with him._

" _Are you out of your fucking mind?" He growled. "You can't just tell me you are tired of me, and then actually suggest we still get married. I won't keep you in a life of comfort and luxury, so you can screw around to your heart's content."_

 _She paled, and Colin stepped forward looping a protective arm around her. "It's okay honey, I've got you." He promised, and looked at the angry wizard before them. He might think Malfoy to be a cold-hearted bastard, but if there was one thing he agreed with him on, it was that he did not want her married to him either._

" _Yes, you got your boy toy, so leave me the hell alone!" Draco drawled slowly, his tone cutting and sharp. He turned around leaving the park, apparating to the nearest wizarding pub._

He opened his eyes, as he heard a familiar voice mutter quietly.

"Can't believe he had the nerve..." The soft feminine voice trailed off, and he glanced around, his eyes widening slightly as he gazed at the striking wild curls of one Hermione Granger. Her hair was positively alive with a crackling magic quality, as she ranted lowly to herself.

He grinned inwardly, and decided that he would amuse himself.

"Talking to yourself is the first sign of insanity." He spoke.

Her eyes snapped to his face, a flash of disappointment and irritation gleaming in her gaze. "Malfoy." She said curtly, and proceeded to ignore him, ordering a glass of Firewhiskey.

That was not the reaction that he expected. He frowned.

"Something wrong?" He found himself asking without really thinking about it.

She looked at him with surprise and suspicion. "What is it to you?" She grumbled, like a disgruntled kitten.

He arched an eyebrow. "Are you always this rude, or do you reserve this sweet disposition for my person only?"

"We aren't friends, Malfoy." She stated, and went back to ignoring him, sipping her drink quietly.

"Ten points to Gryffindor for being fucking obvious, Granger." He rolled his eyes. "I did not know that you had an attitude problem with people who are not in your social circle. Explains a lot, actually." He snorted.

She whirled around to look at him. "What does that supposed to mean?" She snapped.

He smirked. "If this is how you behaved at Hogwarts from the start, it's no wonder you had trouble making friends."

Hurt flashed in Hermione's eyes, and her lips tightened into a fine line. "I had friends." She insisted.

"Hit a nerve, did I?" He chuckled lowly, and drank his second helping of whiskey.

Hermione closed her eyes and slowly counted to ten. She had an awful day, and she really did not want to get into a row with Malfoy of all people, so even if his words stung her, as she _did_ have trouble making friends in school, she decided to let his remark go, and focused on her drink.

Draco hummed. It wasn't like Granger to turn away from exchanging insults with him, so something really must have been bothering her. Not that he cared. _Obviously._ He ordered two more glasses of whiskey, and slid one of them to the witch.

It was _not_ an apology. It was a gesture of understanding.

"Bottoms up, Granger." He winked at her, and stared approvingly, as she quickly threw the glass she ordered herself back, and repeated it with the one he bought for her. "Bloody hell, never knew you could drink like that." He muttered.

Hermione curled her lips into a small smile. "Well, we don't really know each other at all, Malfoy. We grazed the surface, and that's it, so don't be so surprised."

He chuckled. "You are right, I suppose."

She smirked. " _Naturally._ "

Draco rolled his eyes. "Don't let it get to your head, Granger." He paused and smirked. "You need the space for all that crazy hair."

Hermione gasped dramatically. "Oh no, another hair joke. _Scandalous_!" She said sarcastically, with a hint of humor in her voice.

Malfoy's lips twitched with amusement. "Is it possible that you have a sense of humour? Colour me surprised!" He teased.

The brunette witch laughed lowly. "Perhaps. Would it be so bad if I was more than a bookworm?" She teased.

Draco Malfoy actually smiled. "Granger, the world would end."

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 **A/N:** This plot line has been teasing me for days now, so I sat down and wrote the first chapter today. The idea is that Astoria Greengrass cheats on Draco, and has some cutting words for him, which will eventually make him think. He is tired of the life he is living, and he wants a change. Hermione is fed up with her work, as her boss keeps coming on to her, and eventually makes her life way too miserable to handle working in the Ministry, so she quits. Will Draco Malfoy learn to find compassion, and will Hermione find herself? Is it possible that their paths of self-discovery are entwined? Will they find love and happiness together?

Thank you for reading!


	2. Fairclough

Hermione chuckled lightly at the blond wizard's teasing quip. "To the _Apocalypse_ then." She mocked light-heartedly, as she slightly tipped her almost empty glass towards him, and drank the last drops of whiskey, enjoying the sharp tingle and the burning aftertaste.

She closed her eyes and sighed. She had a stressful day, and the alcohol provided her with momentary relief, which she welcomed with the thirst of someone who spent a day in the desert without any water at hand.

The bright witch was not an aspiring alcoholic, but after the end of the war, she had found that a drink, or two helped after a particular nightmare, or an irksome day at the office. She found herself at the pub more frequently, ever since she got promoted at the Ministry. With her new responsibilities, she also acquired a new boss.

She frowned.

Mr. Ethan Fairclough was an old-fashioned English pureblood, who also worked at the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. He was the Head of the Dragon Research and Restraint Division, which Hermione got promoted to after her successful reform and reorganization of the Office of House-Elf Relocation.

While the wizard was not a blood purist, he had very peculiar views about witches and their roles in society. He also had his sights set on Hermione, stubborn in his belief, that they would be a formidable power couple, if only she agreed to his courtship.

It was not that Fairclough was bad looking, because she found him attractive. He was tall and lean, his facial features almost regal, with dark hair and piercing blue eyes, but she could not stand the arrogance and the _'better than thou'_ attitude that was rolling off of him in waves. Ethan also had an annoying tendency to interrupt Hermione while she was mid-sentence, and talk to her like she was a petulant child, rather than an established and intelligent witch, who liked to be treated as an equal.

She muttered under her breath in frustration, as she recalled his latest attempt wooing her, while treating her like she was inferior.

"How dare he-" She bristled, and did not realize that she was clutching the glass so tightly, that the barkeep was worried she would break it.

Malfoy looked at the visibly out of sorts witch, and he couldn't help but feel somewhat worried.

"What had that poor piece of glass ever done to you to be treated so poorly?" He drawled.

Hermione blinked, and glanced from the glass to Malfoy, comprehending what he said, and she realized that she was holding the glass in a death-grip. "Oh." She mumbled briefly, and loosened her hold.

Draco narrowed his eyes as he studied the mess of a woman in front of him, and made a split-second decision to make her talk about whatever it was that had her acting so out of character.

He was _not_ concerned, _not at all_. He was merely curious.

"Alright, Granger, spill." He grunted, and pulled the empty glass out of reach, sliding a small bowl of peanuts towards her.

"It's none of your business, Malfoy. We are not fr-" She huffed.

Draco rolled his eyes. "We are not friends. Right, we already established that."

She glanced at him. "Well, then what do you care? I am just a lowly mud-" She was not able to finish her sentence, because Malfoy slammed his glass on the bar, and glowered at her.

"Do not dare finish that sentence, Granger." He hissed lowly, and Hermione was reminded of their late Potions Professor, as he sounded exactly like he used to, when he sneered at her in class.

She snorted. "Why the hell not, Malfoy?" She mimicked his speech. "It never bothered you, or your friends to throw that word at me. I had to listen to it, ever since I entered the wizarding world. It's not like it's news." She shrugged.

Malfoy grimaced at the truth of her words. "That's in the past." He muttered with a scowl.

She shrugged. "Well, good for you then." She muttered, and picked up a peanut, twirling it around between her index finger and her thumb.

He blinked, and realized that the pureblood prejudice towards muggleborns had hardened her, and made her bitter. He did not like it. He would never admit it to anyone, but he enjoyed the feisty, and fierce attitude she used to have in school. Like when she punched him, because it made him begrudgingly respect her a little.

"Look, I am not about to grovel in front of you on my knees, although that would be an interesting position to find myself in-" He raked his eyes over her body. "But I would like to apologize-"

Hermione narrowed her eyes. " _You?_ Apologize? Is this some sort of trick?" She regarded him with a glare.

A look of hurt flashed in Draco's grey eyes. "I will pretend that this is the alcohol talking, and you are not actually this bitchy otherwise. As I said, I would like to apologize for my actions regarding you in our school years, it was not my best form." He paused, and she huffed. "People have the ability to change, Granger. I am not proud of my past." He said honestly.

Hermione took a deep breath, and let it out slowly, taking her time to give the wizard sitting next to her a good look. His eyes looked like stormy steel, but she could see genuine regret reflecting in them that struck her hard, like a slap in the face. She looked away and swallowed.

"It's my boss." She admitted, answering his original question as a peace offering.

Draco blinked at the slight change of topic, but he quickly understood. "Oh?" He echoed.

"I got promoted a few weeks ago, as my work with the House-Elf reforms, and the new legislation is done and and over with-" She began.

"Yeah, I had attended the Wizengamot session that passed the new laws." He hummed, and motioned for her to continue.

"Well, I got promoted to the Dragon Research and Restraint Division-"

He arched an eyebrow. "Interesting." His own name meant _'dragon'_ , which he found curious.

She glared at him. "Shush. As I said, I got promoted to the Dragon Research and Restraint Division, and my new boss, Mr. Ethan Fairclough-"

"Fairclough? He is a pompous arse!" Draco interjected, having had the displeasure of dealing with him in his line of work.

Hermione threw her hands up in the air and groaned. "Must you interrupt every three seconds?"

He curled his lips into a smirk. " _Obviously._ "

"Ugh." She groaned. "Anyway, Fairclough has been pushing me to accept his courtship-"

" _What?!_ " Draco choked on his whiskey, as he was mid-sip.

Hermione rolled her eyes and sighed. "I know-, someone is interested in _me_ , however shocking that may be, it is completely besides the point I am trying to make here."

"That _wasn't_ what-" He spluttered.

The brunette witch glared at him, and placed her hand on his lips. "You shush and let me finish without interrupting after every few words. As I was saying, Fairclough has the misconception that I am only playing hard to get, and he keeps telling me that I should stop playing these shallow mind games, after all he already made it obvious that he wants me." She grimaced. "He cannot fathom that I am never going to be interested in him, and he is making it impossible for me to concentrate on my job, as he is constantly pestering me."

Draco's skin tingled under her touch, and he had half a mind to forcefully shake her hand off his face, but he did not, as it felt _almost_ comforting. He just conveniently tucked that wayward thought away to the back of his mind, and blamed the Firewhiskey.

She seemed to come into her senses, and drew her hand back like it was on fire after her explanation, flushing bright red, but he generously chose to ignore that, and forced his mind to analyze what she told him about Fairclough. It bothered him immensely that the imbecile was interested in his feisty lioness.

 _Wait, what? When had he began thinking of Granger, as 'his'?_

He must have been more drunk than he thought. Firewhiskey and irritating Gryffindor Princesses apparently did _not_ mix well together.

"Arrogant pompous arse that he may be, that is hardly reason enough to drown yourself in Firewhiskey." He drawled.

Hermione scowled. "If you were a woman having to deal with a touchy-feely nitwit looking to cop a feel, while talking down to you, like you are inferior, and at the same time telling you that you should stop feigning disinterest, you would find yourself tempted to look for comfort at the bottom of the glass yourself."

Draco's eyes hardened. "Is he sexually harassing you?" He inquired with steel in his voice.

Hermione flushed red again, and her expression was one of disgust and shame. "In a way, I suppose so." She muttered, and averted her gaze, plopping a peanut into her mouth. "Can we please change the subject?" She pleaded with him softly, her stare fixed at the counter.

"Granger-" He began, with every intention of talking more in depth about this, but her stiff demeanor changed his mind. "Very well." He replied with a nod.

Malfoy had decided to drop the subject for now, but he swore to himself that he would look into this further. He may have had a questionable history with Granger, but he would not stand for her boss harassing her, if he could do something about it, and he knew that he had the power, after all he was an influential man.

"Thank you." She smiled a small smile. "What about you?"

He cocked his head to the side. "Hm?"

"Why are you drinking at this time of day?" She looked up at him curiously.

Anger flashed in his eyes. "I found my ex-fiancée in a passionate lip-lock with another man."

Hermione's eyes widened, and her gaze softened. "I am sorry." She said gently.

He acknowledged the sentiment with a nod. "Worst of all? She was cheating with a bloody _Gryffindor_."

The witch blinked, and her lips twitched in amusement. "Is that really the _worst_ thing about the situation? That she was with a Gryffindor?"

Draco nodded, his eyes projecting a fierce look. " _Yes._ Astoria was cheating with _Colin sodding Creevey_." He scowled, and gulped down the rest of his drink.

" _Really?_ I never pegged Colin as a home-wrecker. Wow-" She breathed in surprise.

The Slytherin wizard grumbled. "He seemed to have changed a lot over the years. He was cocky, confident, tall, and seemed a bit full of himself."

Hermione bit her lower lip to keep herself from laughing. "You know, Astoria seems to have a type-" She trailed off suggestively.

Draco rounded on her. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

She looked at him, her eyes gleaming with compassion. "Well, you could also be described as cocky, confident, tall and a bit full of yourself, you know. Then again, as I mentioned earlier, we don't truly know each other, so that is just the impression I got off you over the years-"

Draco practically hissed at her. "Granger-"

"Ye-e-es?" She questioned him cheekily.

"You have absolutely no idea how to comfort people, do you?" He drawled, his fists clenched into a tight ball.

Hermione's expression hardened. "I can comfort people just fine, however I assumed that you were not seeking such sentiment from _me_."

Draco could not argue with that logic. "Well, you are of course correct." He begrudgingly admitted.

"I thought so." She said stiffly, standing up and reaching for her bag to search for her money pouch and pay for her drinks.

The blonde wizard's eyes followed her movement, and frowned. He did not mean to offend her, but that seemed to be the pattern of their conversation. They had a tendency to insult each other, even without intent.

He sighed and looked at the tiny witch. "Granger-" He said thoughtfully. " _Hermione_ , do you think we could give friendship a try?"

The Gryffindor witch froze in surprise at the Slytherin's use of her first name. She slowly turned to look at him. "Excuse me? Did I hear you correctly? You would like to be _friends_ with _me_ of all people?" She asked incredulously. "May I ask _why_?"

He shrugged. "Frankly, we were both seeking some sort of relief and comfort in alcohol, rather than our friends, and that speaks for itself." He drawled. "While they may restrain themselves from being straightforward with us, we have no such containments towards each other. We tell it how we see it, and I think that might be beneficial. And also, your company is rather tolerable."

Hermione bit her lip thoughtfully. "I don't know-" She mumbled, and turned around to leave the pub.

Malfoy was disheartened with her half-hearted rejection wrapped up in uncertainty, but halfway towards the exit Granger turned around and called for him.

" _Draco?_ " She addressed him by his first name. "Send me an owl." She smiled, and left a gaping wizard in her wake.

* * *

 **A/N:** These two can't help but insult one another. It's like a tennis match. I kind of get the impression that Draco will develop feelings first, because Hermione seems a bit jaded from the war, and her station in society. But can we blame her? Not really. We will see how this goes. I am plotting some Fairclough hexing, and some Astoria meddling.

Thank you for the lovely welcome for the chapter and the plot line. I appreciate the reviews, favourites and follows.


	3. Sloshed

Draco stayed in the pub for a few hours longer, getting ridiculously sloshed on Firewhiskey. He was half sprawled atop the bar, mumbling incoherently about ungrateful cheating whores, and bright eyed, wild haired goddesses.

He struggled to get himself into a somewhat more appropriate position, swaying without any balance, holding to the edge of the counter, barking another order at the barkeep.

"Puhhrr meh ahno'herr drrinh', ma'e." He slurred, rolling some letters longer than necessary.

The barkeep narrowed his eyes, and shook his head. "I don't think so, _mate_. It's time for you to go and sleep the buzz off." He muttered.

The pureblood wizard growled at the bartender. "Gi'mme mehh drrinh', orr mah fa'hurr will 'rrr 'bou 'hiss." He mumbled, reverting back to his twelve year old self.

The other wizard snorted with disgust. "He can do a lot from Azkaban, indeed." He rolled his eyes. "Do you have anyone I can contact for you to get you home?"

Malfoy looked outraged for a second, and then his vision blurred, and he dropped his head on the bar, pressing his cheek to the cold wood. "Ge' meh Grrr-" He murmured.

"What?"

"Ge' meh Grrran'hurrr." He demanded loudly, as he practically hugged the bar.

The barkeep's eyebrows disappeared into his hairline. "Granger?" He echoed incredulously. "As in _Hermione Granger_?"

"Dhunnn'errrhead." He mimicked Severus for a moment. "D'y kno' any o'herr Grrran'hurr?"

The older wizard massaged his temples soothingly, and took a deep breath, wondering why on earth was he still working in a stuffy, smoke-infested pub, where people got drunk daily, leaving him to deal with the idiots who flew three sheets to the wind.

He cast his _Patronus_ , and sent it to the muggleborn witch, pushing a small bowl of peanuts in front of the inebriated Malfoy heir.

"Eat some to soak up the insane amount of alcohol you inhaled." He grunted in a firm voice, and went to tend to some other customers, who were thankfully a lot less befuddled than the blond.

He only looked up from his work, when a soft feminine voice called for him, and he found himself looking at a quizzical Hermione Granger. He was quite stunned than she actually showed up, instead of ignoring his request. He pointed towards the glazed pureblood, and saw the tiny witch hit her forehead with her palm.

"I will get this sorted out." Hermione promised, and slid on the barstool next to him. "I see you have kept yourself busy, Malfoy." She quipped.

The Slytherin looked up with a goofy grin. "'Grrran'hurr-" He wobbled a bit to lean towards her. "Drrinh' wi'h me, _'my-oh-nee_." He pleaded, staring at her intensely.

Hermione grinned inwardly, as she knew the blond ferret would never live this down, and arched a well-shaped eyebrow. "I think you have drank enough already, Malfoy."

He grimaced, and grabbed her hand needily. "I'ss _Dray-coh_." He slurred. "'all meh _Dray-coh._ " He demanded.

The brunette witch bit her lower lip to keep her amusement from bubbling forth. She had no idea that Malfoy was such a needy, and affectionate drunk. It made her feel a strange sense of poetic justice to see him fall apart like this, as he always seemed so controlled otherwise. She was slightly intrigued to see the man without his well-constructed emotional shields.

"Alright, _Draco,_ " She chimed, and when the wizard opened his mouth, she plopped a few peanuts into it. "Chew." She said softly, and motioned for the barkeep to get the bill.

Her eyes popped out of her head at the amount of galleons Malfoy consumed in Firewhiskey. She looked at the drunk wizard, and sighed. "Where do you keep your money pouch?" She mused.

Draco chewed on the peanuts obediently, while staring at the witch in front of him adoringly. He really liked the way her wild hair framed her face, and the way her warm honey coloured eyes reflected amusement. He might have been sloshed, but he was aware that the witch in front of him was having an inward laugh at him, and he did not feel the slightest bit annoyed by it.

His brain cells only focused on the fact that she was beautiful. She might not have been a conventional beauty, whom you noticed on first glance, like Astoria, but she had a warmth and natural look that was simply delightful.

Especially to his toasted vision.

"Draco?" Hermione asked in that soft voice, that was like delicate bell chimes to his ears.

"Mmh?" He echoed, leaning closer to her face.

Granger had a flustered look flushing her face. "Where do you keep your money pouch? We have to pay for your drinks." She explained, waving the bill in her small hand.

Malfoy smirked slightly, and pulled her hand that he latched on to earlier to his back pocket, flush against his arse. He chuckled drunkenly, pressing her hand tighter against him, reveling in the tingling sensation.

Hermione blushed scarlet at the blond's audacity. She took a shallow breath, and dipped her fingertips into his pocket, her eyes widening at the realization that it was charmed with an _Undetectable Extension Charm_. She had a feel around for the pouch, and when she was certain she found it, she pulled it out, and quickly withdrew her hand from Malfoy's grasp.

Draco pouted at the loss of her touch, and returned to staring at the witch without any slither of shame. He found her fascinating, especially when such delicious hues of red adorned her face. " _Bootiful._ " He mumbled under his breath.

The Gryffindor ignored his incoherent muttering in stride, and carefully counted the required amount of coins, and handed them to the bartender.

"Thank you for handling the situation, Miss Granger." The barkeep said softly with a small smile.

Hermione nodded curtly in reply, and looked at Malfoy. "Come on, let's get you to bed." She said softly, and placed his money pouch into her bag for the time being, as she had no desire to actually go anywhere near the wizard's posterior again, and helped him up.

Draco's eyes sparkled. "Ge' in bed w'ih meh?" He suggested, as he leaned on her shoulder, slightly unsteady on his feet.

Hermione snorted. "Not a chance." She huffed with a tint of red flushing her cheeks.

Draco sulked all the way to the apparation point, where the witch looked at him a bit out of her depth. The Gryffindor witch had absolutely no idea where Malfoy lived these days, and she had no intention to go anywhere near Malfoy Manor in this lifetime, so dropping him there was out of the question. She was wrecking her brain for an agreeable solution, _any_ solution, that did not have her taking the inebriated imbecile home with her.

"Do you have any of your Slytherin friends I could contact for you to take you home?" She mused.

Malfoy grimaced, and grabbed her hand with a violent shaking of his head. "Du'nn li'v meh." He begged her.

Her eyebrows disappeared into her hairline. _What the hell was she supposed to do with a wasted, and unreasonably clingy Draco Malfoy?_

She sighed in defeat, and snaked an arm around Malfoy's waist, pulling him close. "Hold on tight." She instructed, and the wizard happily obliged, his arms looping around her small stature.

Hermione flushed bright red once more and apparated them directly inside her apartment. When she bought her small cottage, she keyed apparation permission for herself into her carefully constructed wards, for times when she wanted to come and go without having to deal with the front door.

Thankfully she lived by herself, so she did not have to explain her heavy cargo, that was holding on to her so desperately that she couldn't help, but feel somewhat worried about the blond.

She discharged him from her hold, and softly pushed him down on the sofa. "Sit. I will get you something to eat and drink, and see if I have a _Sobering Potion_ in my potion stores."

Draco flopped on the mutely coloured settee, and leaned back. He closed his eyes, trying to avoid the inevitable queasiness that usually followed after copious amounts of alcohol consumption.

Hermione kicked her shoes off, and scampered into her kitchen, where she put a pot of coffee brewing, while simultaneously toasting a few slices of bread. She opened her ice box, and picked up some ham, cheese, milk, and a couple of eggs, and whipped up a quick omelette for the drunk interloper squatting in her living-room.

Once everything was ready, she portioned the food onto a porcelain plate, poured the coffee into a matching mug, and placed everything on a small silver tray. She opened one of the drawers, and fished out some utensils and a napkin, and placed them next to the food.

Then she paused in her movements slightly and groaned, as she realized that in the heat of things, she completely forgot to check for the potion.

She hummed and left the kitchen, going next door, where she had a room that had a dual function, as it was both the pantry, and her potion storage. The room was carefully warded and separated. Obviously Hermione was not about to waste any space, when she could come up with an idea to smartly use every inch of it.

Her eyes quickly scanned the labels on the potion vials, and she sighed in relief when she noticed the lone _Sobering Potion_ sitting on one of the shelves. She vigilantly uncorked the stopper, and sniffed the contents to see if it had not expired yet, and thankfully it was still good to go, so she let out the breath she was holding, and walked back to the kitchen.

Hermione picked up the tray, and carefully balanced it with the potion in her hands, and marched back into her living-room, where she found a whimpering Malfoy holding to his head.

"Here you go." She said softly, and placed her spoils in front of the moaning wizard. "Drink this, and then eat some." She ordered, and handed him the potion vial.

Malfoy scowled at the taste of the potion, but gulped it down nevertheless, shuddering slightly. As soon as he drank it, his thoughts had become clearer, and he looked up at the concerned witch standing in front of him.

"Thank you." He muttered lowly, his tongue finally working the right way.

"You are welcome, Malfoy." Hermione chuckled, and sat on the arm of the sofa.

He frowned. "I thought we established that you would call me _Draco_." He complained, and picked up the fork, cutting off a small piece of the omelette, and plopped it into his mouth, chewing thoughtfully. "Mm, I had no idea you could cook." He muttered, gazing at her from the corner of his eyes.

She snorted. "You were inebriated when you insisted that I call you, Draco." She enlightened him, and a mischievous light flickered in her eyes. "I had no idea you were such a needy, clingy, and touchy drunk." She smirked at him, mirth dancing in her amber coloured orbs.

Draco flushed, and stared at his food. It wasn't often than he lacked a witty come-back, but he had no idea how to deal with the fact that he was so touchy-feely with her under the influence. He couldn't even be cross with her, because he knew that if the situation was reversed, he would be teasing her, probably even worse.

Hermione took pity on the man, and leaned over to pick up the mug, handing him his coffee. "Drink up." She said gently, and sat back down, looking at him thoughtfully. "Are you alright?" She asked after a pause.

Malfoy accepted the black liquid gratefully, and sipped on it, cocking his head to the side to glance at her. He thought about lying and telling her that he was okay, but considering the state she found him in, it would have been too obvious, and if he really coveted her friendship, he couldn't be a quintessential Slytherin when it came to bending the truth.

He sighed. "No, I am not alright, Granger." He admitted.

Hermione's lips twitched slightly. "I thought we were on a _first name basis_." She teased lightly, and then her expression turned serious. "I am sorry about Astoria. I know how difficult it is to be cheated on." She grimaced.

Draco chuckled." Right, _we are_." He agreed, and then looked at her quizzically. "Oh?"

She shrugged. "It was a few years ago. When Ron and I decided to end our relationship, it was actually a rather amiable split up, and we slipped back to a comfortable friendship." She smiled fondly. "But the break-up was tough on me emotionally, nevertheless, because he was my first love-" Malfoy snorted."I know there is no love lost between you and the Weasleys, but that doesn't mean you have to demean what _I_ felt." She scrunched up her face, and scowled at him.

The pureblood wizard looked sheepish. "Sorry." He mumbled. "Go on."

"A few months later I attended a Hogwarts reunion, where I hit it off really nicely with one of you Slytherin snakes-"

Draco's eyes widened. "What? _Why_ haven't I ever heard about this?"

She hummed thoughtfully. "I believe it was at the time when you were serving your house arrest." She chimed delicately.

His expression suddenly became guarded. "That makes sense." He drawled wryly.

She winced at his reaction. "Anyway," She began. "I have initiated a conversation with a few Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs, and that was when Blaise Zabini-"

"What?" He whirled around to stare at her. "You shagged _Zabini_?"

She looked affronted and somewhat disgusted at his assumption. "Not that it is _any_ of your freaking business-" She scowled at him. "But no, I haven't shagged Zabini. He walked over to talk with us, and a few minutes later he introduced us to Adrian-"

"What the fuck?" Draco jumped up and yelled. "Please don't tell me it was _fucking Pucey_ that you shagged?"

Hermione narrowed her eyes, and her expression went from warm to ice cold. "I don't think it is any of your business whom I may or may not have _shagged_ , Malfoy." She hissed. "Who are you to interrogate me like that? You are in my home, drinking my coffee, and eating the food I have fucking prepared for you after you got yourself so fucking sloshed, that for some reason you thought it was a good idea to call for _me to_ sort you out, and then you act like you have the right to _demand_ to know whom I may or may not have _shagged_." She was shaking with anger. "I bloody well have the right to shag _Crabbe and Goyle_ senseless, if I so fancy!" She shot at him.

The blond wizard was gaping at the witch like a fish out of water. For starters, he had never once really heard her swear, and if he was honest with himself it was turning him on to hear her use such uncouth language. Then as angry as he was at her for shagging a Slytherin, _that was not him_ , he had to admit to himself that he had no right to question her about whom she had intimate relations with.

He threw his hands up in the air. "Alright, I yield, Granger, you are right. I was out of line-" He paused for a moment. "But I have to question your sanity. _Crabbe and Goyle? Really?_ "

She inhaled deeply, and exhaled slowly, pinching the bridge of her nose. "I was trying to make a point." She disclosed.

He nodded. "So, am I forgiven? Will you continue with your, _uh-_ , escapades into shagging a Slytherin?" He drawled.

Hermione regarded him for a few moments, and huffed exasperatedly when he mentioned sex. "You are forgiven, however it is not as shallow as you claim. I _dated_ Pucey for a few months, and even though we did _shag_ , I had feelings for the guy."

Malfoy sneered, and a snarky remark was at the tip of his tongue when he thought otherwise. "I am sorry he wasn't faithful." He said carefully. "He could never keep a girl for more than a week at Hogwarts-"

She frowned. "I never really listened to the Hogwarts rumour mill, and even if I did, I do believe that sometimes people can change, so- I gave him a chance. I did learn my lesson however." She shrugged.

"And what lesson was that?" He inquired.

"That I shouldn't be so naïve and trusting when it comes to people's character, and I never will be again. I have also been avoiding dating since this happened." She admitted, and twirled a lock of her hair between her fingertips.

Draco stared at the beautiful, but unquestionably broken witch before him, and he had a strong desire to pick up the pieces and fix her.

"Granger-" He paused. " _Hermione_ , go out with _me_."

* * *

 **A/N:** This chapter is my favourite so far. First of all an inebriated Draco is highly amusing, and then I like that they cannot help but snark at each other, it's entertaining. Also, I didn't plan for him to ask her out so soon, but it just wrote itself. We will see how Hermione will react next chapter. She might yell at him, or she might laugh at him. She might hex him out of her apartment, or she might kiss him senseless, or just simply accept his proposition. Who knows, so many options.

Oh, before I forget, I am not fluent in drunk slur, so I apologize if that is off. I don't drink, like at all, so please go easy on me!

Thank you for reading. And thank you for the favourites, follows and reviews.


	4. Chimes

Hermione stared at Draco with wide eyes, a completely shocked expression plastered across her face. She was looking at the wizard, like he sprouted a few extra heads, like he was _Fluffy_ incarnate, guarding a trap door. Never in a million years would she have ever entertained the thought of the words " _Hermione, go out with me._ " escaping the pureblood's mouth.

The witch was completely speechless, struggling to process the Slytherin's ludicrous proposition. She felt like a data software, that was having difficulties processing words. The phrase. " _Does not compute."_ sprang to her mind.

Malfoy and her were like oil and water, polar opposites like Heaven and Earth.

He was brought up in wizarding society, a well-groomed pureblood, the cream of the crop. She was raised in the non-magical world, an ignorant muggleborn, who never even dared hope magic was real, until Professor McGonagall visited her family, and told her all about Hogwarts.

They were sorted into rival Houses.

Draco a sly, ambitious Slytherin, and Hermione a fierce, and loyal Gryffindor.

Throughout the years they exchanged more insults than there were apples in an orchard. They snarked at each other at every given opportunity, most of the time recycling the _'oldies'_ , as they were running out of inspired impertinence.

She stood up for him at his trial, but she did that out of a strong sense of justice, that she would have done for anyone else, had they been in the young Malfoy heir's position.

Hermione valued loyalty, and when it really counted, in the middle of a dangerous and sticky situation, he covered for them, instead of handing them over to the enemy on a silver platter. She will always be grateful for that, even if everything went pear-shaped shortly after that, and even to this day she relived everything in minute detail in her nightmares.

She shook herself out of her reverie, and glanced at Malfoy. He was silently watching her, getting both paler, and more and more flustered the longer she kept quiet. Her eyes trailed over his every feature, her mind analyzing the information it received.

The years had been kind to the wizard. He grew up to be an extremely aesthetically pleasing man. His face was slightly chiseled, with a strongly defined jaw. He had a straight nose, and pale, well-shaped eyebrows. His eyes were like liquid silver, the steely orbs shining like a pair of glazed pearls. Straight blonde hair fell haphazardly over the mirrors of his soul, and caressed the nape of his neck.

His alabaster skin was literally flawless. The man could have been a poster boy for skin care products. If she was not aware that he was a pureblood, and that it was _impossible_ , she would have accused him of being _Photoshopped_. But it was highly unlikely that a pureblood wizard living in the magical world even knew about muggle computer softwares, not to mention the absurdity of _Photoshopping_ a living, breathing being.

There were certain fundamental principles, that even Magic needed to follow.

"Hermione?" Draco asked.

She rubbed the spot between her eyebrows to soothe herself, and took a deep breath. " _Why?_ " She asked incredulously.

Malfoy stared at her blankly. "Hm?"

"Why the flying feathers would you ask me out?" She echoed with a disbelieving look in her eyes.

"Well," He began, but Hermione jumped up from the arm of the sofa and started pacing back and forth.

"What on earth could have possibly possessed you to set forth such a preposterous idea?" She asked, pausing to glance at him.

"Granger-" Draco tried to explain himself, in vain.

"I mean, it's a completely ludicrous thought!" She mumbled with tints of red flushing her cheeks.

" _Granger,_ " The wizard groaned, trying to get a word in edgewise.

"Of all the crazy, comical, outlandish-" She ranted at him.

"Hermione," Malfoy chimed, trying to get her attention.

"-fantastical, farcical, foolish," She continued with listing adjectives from her vast vocabulary.

" _Hermione-_ " The Slytherin wizard called out desperately, getting more and more frustrated with the tiny witch. Her rich tresses were flying around her face as she was gesturing wildly in the middle of her shocked harangue.

"-incongruous, nonsensical, whimsical concepts!" She muttered, and suddenly whirled around, getting close and personal with Malfoy. "Are you _barmy_?" She asked.

He blinked. "I-" She did not let him speak though.

"Is that _it_? _Have you lost your marbles?_ " She asked, her gaze turning softer in concern.

Draco pinched the bridge of his nose and groaned. " _Hermione,_ "

"Did the _Sobering Potion_ malfunction?" She asked with a worry laced voice. "I mean, it was on the shelf of my potion storage for a while now-" She bit her lip thoughtfully." I made sure to check if the liquid expired yet, but it smelled like it should have."

Malfoy just stared at her with sheer incredulity. He had absolutely no idea that Granger blabbered so much when she was caught off guard. He smiled inwardly, realizing that the reason she was talking a mile a minute was because she was flustered. The delicious scarlet hue adorning her cheeks was another indicator that she was not indifferent to his notion, no matter how foolish, incongruous, or outlandish she claimed it to be.

He raked his eyes over her, and studied the witch. She was still as tiny, as she was when he last saw her. She barely reached his shoulders. He smirked to himself. He found her height, or lack thereof, absolutely endearing.

Her hair seemed to have tamed to some extent, but it was still as lush as ever, her silky curls angling in every direction. Her honey coloured eyes faded into striking amber, and when she glanced at him, he was staring into liquid gold. Her gaze was almost hypnotic, and he felt as though she was ascertaining the secrets of his very soul.

Her ivory skin had a warm glow, and he expressly enjoyed noticing the tiny freckles that dotted her, here and there. As she was frantically waving her arms around, he noticed a small tattoo scribbled across the pulse point of her left wrist. He was not able to make out what it depicted, but he made sure to tuck that information away at the back of his mind for later.

He was startled when she stepped closer to him, gently pressing her right palm against his forehead, and caressing her fingertips across his cheek, humming to herself.

"You don't seem to have a fever." She stated after a few moments.

"Hermione," He rasped, his voice trembling a bit from her closeness.

"Is this a trick then?" She asked accusingly, pulling her hands back. "Is your ego wounded that another Slytherin _mmmff-_ " She was muffled mid sentence, as Draco's lips crushed against hers tenderly, his arms pulling her flush against his firm chest, cutting off her senseless mumbling quite effectively so.

Malfoy's world turned upside-down the moment the stunned witch returned the caress, tentatively peppering small kisses on his lips, trembling as he deepened the kiss, his tongue seeking entrance. It was like a jolt of electricity struck them, as their tongues engaged in a sensual waltz. They melted into each other, and unbeknownst to them, Magic responded to their union.

A warm golden glow sparked from their joined embrace, slowly engulfing the couple in a brilliant shower of light. Soft magical bell chimes tinkled subtly in a most beautiful arrangement, delighting in the occasion.

When they broke apart for air, both of them had a dazed look in their eyes, and they fell in a heap of tangled limbs on the settee, losing consciousness.

* * *

 **A/N:** I know this is short, but it felt like the proper place to end the chapter. I like the intrigue. What on earth is going on here? You may or may not guess correctly, but if there is one thing I will say is that no, they aren't going to wake up magically married to each other. Not my style, but the happenstance might be similar.

To make it clear, all they shared was a kiss. When I re-read it, I realized it could have been interpreted otherwise, but nope.

Thank you for reading, and I would like to especially thank you for the reviews, they make my day!


	5. Soulmates?

It was a few hours later that Draco woke from his spontaneous magic induced nap, and looked around groggily. His face flushed slightly, as he realized that his arms were snaked around Granger's waist, and she was slumped across his chest, her hair splayed over his shoulder, some impish tendrils tickling his nose.

His breathing quickened, as his current predicament started to really sink in. _Draco Malfoy_ was sprawled over _Hermione Granger's_ couch, with an absolutely relaxed Gryffindor Princess breathing evenly on top of him, and _he was enjoying it_.

He was absolutely flabbergasted, and completely hazy on _how_ and _why_ this situation came to be.

His heart skipped a beat, as Hermione slightly moved around, and burrowed her face into the junction of his neck and shoulder, her lips brushing against his collarbone, softly mumbling something incomprehensible in her sleep.

Draco closed his eyes, a lazy smile sneakily curling its way to his lips. He may not have been aware of the details, but he could not say that he was disappointed. He felt more content with a slumbering Hermione in his arms, than he ever did with Astoria, even when they were openly affectionate with each other.

Granger gave him a sense of comfort, that he did not even know he wanted, until he had a taste of it. He tightened his hold around the witch, and sighed contently. His questions could wait for later, when his feisty little lioness was awake. He smirked inwardly, knowing that she would most likely work herself up into a right frenzy, and her wild hair would crackle with its innate magic quality that he adored.

 _He simply couldn't wait._

But for the moment, he enjoyed the peace and quiet, before the inevitable storm hit him like a bludger. He moved his head slowly, and rested his chin atop her lush curls, his nostrils flaring at the faint scent of mango, wildflowers and coconut. She reminded him of a sunlit tropical paradise, and that prompted him to think about her clad in nothing, but a skimpy bikini, her soft skin soaking up the sun...

He groaned at the visual. He _must not_ fantasize about such things, especially when the witch was _conveniently_ in reach to turn those fantasies into reality. As much as he thought that would be ridiculously _fun_ to do, he did not want to muck anything up. He genuinely coveted her friendship, and he was sincere in his notion to date her.

The blond wizard's eyes widened slightly, as he suddenly remembered what happened a while back, his face darkening with a hint of vermilion. He just crushed his lips against hers without the slightest sliver of shame, and she responded. _Merlin's braided beard, what a glorious kiss it was!_

He grinned inwardly at the memory of Granger floundering around like a fish out of water, talking a mile a minute, her face deliciously painted in various rosy hues, as she was grasping at straws, and making excuses for his supposedly ludicrous suggestion. He had to admit to himself that it was a fairly entertaining sight, and it was a strangely satisfying concept that he was able to kiss her into speechlessness.

When he sensed that Granger was about to wake up, the wizard asserted his trusty Slytherin slyness, and feigned to be asleep.

Hermione's eyelashes fluttered lightly, as she felt sunlight warming her skin, and she slowly came to her senses, and opened her eyes. She froze, as she felt a pair of arms securely wrapped around her, and her heart started beating so fast, she could have sworn it transfigured itself into a snitch, desperate to evade the miscreants chasing it.

She took a controlled breath, carefully turning around, only to freeze in motion again, as she stared at _Draco Malfoy, Ferret Extraordina_ _re._ She was _so_ unbelievably stunned and startled, that she tore herself out of his grasp, and scampered backwards, inelegantly dwindling on the floor, arse first. She managed to bump the back of her head on the sharp end of her coffee table, eliciting a rather loud hiss, and a string of curse words in quirky fashion.

"Merlin's raggedy kneecaps-" She groaned painfully, as her left fingertips carefully hovered over the bruised spot half an inch above the upper part of her neck. "Salazar's slithering snake-pit-" She grumbled, as she scrambled to sit up, only to slip right back from dizziness. "Rowena's receding radishes-" She grunted in pain.

Malfoy listened to her unique version of expletives, and even though he found them silently hilarious, his other half was warring with the amused part of himself, whether or not to lend the miserable witch a helping hand.

"You know-" Hermione gritted between her teeth, as the pulsating pain made her see stars. "It's not polite to pretend to be sleeping, while you are having an inward laugh at my expense, _oh mighty Ferret Prince_." She scowled.

Draco choked, and let his amusement bubble forth, barking a sharp laugh. "You caught me." He snickered and sat up, kneeling in front of her, and brushing her hair to the side, to assess her injury. " _Ferret Prince?_ Is that an upgrade from the lowly peasant ferret I used to be before, oh _Princesse de Bibliothèque_?" He curled his lips upwards in a teasing manner.

Granger stared at the blond Slytherin, and despite her disgruntled discomfort, she actually _giggled_. "This isn't some sort of _"my kingdom for a smile, a kiss, and your love"_ sort of exchange, is it?" She asked playfully, and hissed as he pressed down on her aching spot. "Careful, you-, _you Crumpled Horned Snorkack_!" She spat out, and winced at the Luna-esque insult, if one could even classify it as such.

Draco Malfoy blinked at her, pulled his hand back, and proceeded to lose his marbles all over Hermione Granger's floor. He rolled around her carpet, howling like a lunatic werewolf on a full moon, banging his chest with a fist, while tears of extreme merriment gathered in the corner of his eyes.

The brunette witch stared at him incredulously, her lips twitching slightly, but she was not quite sure if she was more irritated, or amused. She sighed, and left the deranged Slytherin to cackle himself into oblivion, and supported herself into her bathroom.

She paused a couple of times, as she felt quite lightheaded, but eventually made her way towards the cabinet where she kept her first aid kit. She casually waved her fingers, and charmed her hair into a loose bun atop her head, positioning herself in a way that she could see her bruise from the mirror.

The skin above her neck, and under her hair was already a striking purple and yellowish colour, and it was very sensitive to the touch. She applied a light layer of _Dittany_ , and sighed at the instant relief it brought her.

Hermione had put the jar back to its designated spot, and washed her face, taking several deep breaths to get a sense of herself. She had a feeling that the day was far from over just yet, even though it only _just_ began. She lightly dabbed a fluffy towel over her face, and walked back to her living-room, where Malfoy was still exploding all over himself in peals of laughter.

She paused next to him, and raised a delicate brow. "Have you completely lost it?" She asked in a soft voice, shaking her head.

"You, you, you-" Draco roared with glee, rudely waving his index finger at her. " _Your-_ ," He gulped down some air, and exhaled in an effort to calm himself. "Your insults are priceless. I-, I am a _S-snorkack?_ " He guffawed. "Not to mention your cursing. _Rowena's receding radishes?_ Did you have afternoon tea with Luna Lovegood?" He chortled.

Hermione groaned. "Are you still _drunk_ for some reason?"

He glanced at her with mischievous silver eyes that danced with mirth. " _Absolutely-_ " He deadpanned. "I am drunk on your insanity." He quipped, and got lost in another episode of sniggering.

The exasperated witch pinched the bridge of her nose. "Have you nicked a _Laughing Potion_ from my potion stores and quaffed it?" She muttered under her breath with a _'Dear Merlin, why me?'_ expression on her face.

Malfoy ignored her, and continued to shriek like a banshee. She was getting seriously concerned about his mental health, when she heard a tapping sound coming from the window. She walked over, and let the small eagle owl in, carefully untying the scrolls fastened to his talons, and offering an owl nut from the near-by bowl that contained an assortment of treats.

The feathered miscreant nipped at her fingertips playfully, and flew out. Hermione dropped her gaze on the scrolls, and blinked at the Ministry seal. _Why would they send her anything on a Saturday morning? And why in Merlin's good name would they send something addressed to Draco Malfoy to her apartment? She was not his keeper._

She sat down on her much adored worn-down arm-chair, and broke the wax seal on the scroll addressed to her, and gently unrolled it. Her expression was rather comical, as her eyes glided over the words written in elegant purple ink.

 _Dear Miss Granger,_

 _It's my great pleasure to inform you of realizing your Soulmate connection with one Lord Draco Lucius Malfoy, Saturday morning at 2. am, at Finch Cottage, Norwhich, England, 4th March, 2004._

 _I shall list the notable dates of your relationship to peruse at your leisure:_

 _First meeting: 2nd September, 1991_

 _First skin to skin contact: 12th May, 1993_

 _First kiss: 4th March, 2004_

 _First embrace: 4th March, 2004_

 _First slumber in each other's arms: 4th March, 2004_

 _First date: Not yet realized._

 _First time: Not yet realized._

 _First kiss as Lord Husband and Lady Wife: Not yet realized._

 _First time conceiving an Heir: Not yet realized._

 _Let me be the first to congratulate you on finding your Soulmate. May you find eternal happiness together!_

 _Best regards,_

 _Lucretia Loveberry_

 _Department of Mysteries_

 _Soulmate Registry_

Draco looked up when there was an audible thud, his eyes widening when he noticed that Hermione had fainted.

* * *

 **A/N:** Well, _that_ happened. Also, pardon my French, I don't speak it at all, so used google translate, it might be faulty, but... -Shifty eyes- Also can we say that Hermione cannot curse to save her life?

Sorry for taking so long to update, but hopefully the chapter was worth the wait.

Thank you for your patience and interest! I appreciate it.


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